What does it mean to me?

What does having children mean to a person? I know the "text book" definition of child bearing. I know that scientists believe all sorts of things when it comes to humans reproducing. I also know what our spiritual leaders believe. What does it mean to me though? Here is what comes to mind....

Being a mom to ten means many things....

It means when I am out and about I run to McDonalds before going home and buy two large Dr Peppers, one for me and one for McKenna.

It means my bed has not been a couple thing in years. Any number of people are in it, and laying on the floor next to it every night. Lately even Brynlee thinks she needs to co bed. Not what I signed on for folks!

It means I never get a full meal. I serve up my family first and make sure the bigger kids get seconds before I even eat my firsts. It's amazing I say that I still am fat...

It means my days are full of noise, clutter, racket, toys, phone calls and friends, and my nights are full of stress, anxiety, thoughts, worries and sleeplessness.

It means I dance in the kitchen to Lady Gaga, sing in the car with One Direction and know every Disney star by heart.

It means my shoes must last much longer than most. The kids come first, now and always.

It means every person at my pediatricians office knows me and my kids by heart. "So Julie, how is your one daughters OCD? Has it subsided?" "Yes, now I worry about my sons inability to sit still..." "Oh yes, I remember that from the last time you were here with  the baby for her check up!" No secrets between him and me these days. He knows I have gained weight over the last few babies and I know he has just recently been released as Bishop of his ward and is now plagued with Bells' Palsy...

It means I have seen all of the latest cartoon style movies, but am still waiting to see a movie with a real person in it...

It means my laundry is over abundant while my bank account in overdrawn...

It means my sister and I never tire of subjects to talk about. Kenna did this, Megan needs that, Isaac posted this on Facebook and Abby cried over that....

It means we take up an entire long bench in church and the primary would close it's doors if we moved. Ok, maybe not, but our absence sure does make a dent...

It means I need a vacation after a vacation to recover from the vacation...

It means someone eats all my chocolate and I don't discover it until I am crying, digging and coming up empty handed...

It means we have to take out a second mortgage in order to afford Christmas, but it's worth every penny of it...

It means my husband and I haven't had a date in years where we didn't get three  phone calls, six text messages and twelve loud stories the minute we walk in the door...

It means my freshly painted walls already have dings, dents and nicks in them and I haven't even closed the paint cans yet...

It means I have given up cute, fun cars in favor of large, bulky eye sores that can carry 12 people around easily...

It means any animal that comes into our home better have fast feet and a tough little hide...

It means I am told at least 4 times a day "I hate you!" and I know 4 times a day I am doing my job!

It means I never lack for love, hugs, attention and kisses.

It means my life is full of love, the kind that can push through any pain, hurt, frustration and anger and make everything alright in the end.

Being a mom to ten is a gift. I may not always feel it, show it, emulate it or shine in it, but my heart knows it and never forgets it...