Welcome...

For those that like to dream, come in. For those that like to laugh, come in. For those that like to cry and be inspired...please come in. Our family is like any other, but is extraordinary in it's own right. Come and join us at our campfire and laugh a little, cry a little and leave us, but please come back. We love company...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Its a love/hate thing...

I have a love/hate relationship with January. I really do. A new year always brings new things, new hope, new adventures. Every year since my first daughter was born I have looked forward to all the new things a year can bring. Jobs, kids, baptisms, school, moves, you name it. Last year we got the house ready and sold it. Last year brought so many new adventures I couldn't possibly name them all. With our new home came a new neighborhood, friends and a new ward. I have so enjoyed getting to know so many new people. They are wonderful. We also moved so close to the lake, and bought wave runners. Let me tell you, that's a love/love relationship. It's been an adventure for our whole family.

Three years ago I started the year with hope, but spent the majority of it in mourning. After losing two babies the previous fall, I went on to lose two more that year. It was a devastating year for sure. I never gave up hope on it, but there's no way I would want to repeat it. The very next year we welcomed Brynlee into our home. That was an awesome year. Our entire family has loved that baby like you wouldn't believe, and it hasn't stopped.

It all starts with January. I hate the cold, but love that I can look forward to Spring, trips to Vegas to see my sisters, Capistrano with my family, a nice long summer spent in the sun and time on the lake. New Years Resolutions are not my thing. I don't like making promises to myself that may or may not happen. A promise can be made June 1st just as easily as it can be made January 1st. But that doesn't mean I don't sit quietly, reflect on the previous year and wonder what the new year holds for us.

This year has started off great. Abby turned 14 January 5th. I can't believe shes that old already! Wow! Then today we got to be interviewed for a piece that's going to air on Studio 5 next month. It was an amazing opportunity and we had a wonderful day with it. The camera guy came and got some footage of our family doing what our family does every morning. Eat, talk, mingle amongst chaos and get ready for school. They took footage of all the kids together and boy did they eat that up. After the kids went to school McKenna sat down and was interviewed and after her it was my and Jon's turn. That was a fun experience and I can't wait to see ourselves on TV next month. Its a great way to start the year.

I hope 2014 holds good things for us. I hope 2014 is a fun year with more adventure than we can handle. I hope 2014 ends as good as it's beginning. I hope....

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Cuddling my last...

Its a landmark year for me. I have now gone longer without being pregnant than I have in more than 17 years. 10 kids. That's amazing. I have literally been nursing or pregnant for so long that Ive forgotten what its like to not be pregnant or nursing. Its a choice, and It's ok. I miss it like hell, but I know its time had come to an end.

But because of this I have spent many an extra hour cuddling this last little one, and it shows. She is stuck to me like glue. She sleeps in our bed, hates going into nursery and cries a lot when I'm gone for more than an hour. But I have to admit I am ok with all of it. I will never again hold my own little newborn, get to smell their soft brand new hair and cuddle the sweetness of their necks. Never again will I get to make all those wonderful plans and sit in the hospital with my new baby getting to know them before we go home. It makes me sad all the way around. Grand kids will be awesome, but they still won't be mine. I will have to take a back seat while my daughters and daughters in law get those sweet late night cuddles and soft moment's.

However, it was an amazing season of my life. It has been an entire dreamed realized. This new  season is going to be the beginning of my season. I have a lot  to offer the world, a lot to give. I do believe the Lord has plans for me that reach even beyond my own home. Not that I'm done here...my kids are all still home, except for Kenna, and I know they need mom. But, I want to start reaching for some of my own goals too. I need to do that.

Brynlee is going to know a much different Julie than my other kids have known. She won't know a pregnant Julie, a nursing Julie or anything of the sort. She is and will forever be spoiled. She doesn't have to share mom with any other babies. She doesn't have to get the boot out of the bed because of a newborn taking her space. She gets it all. She is the apple of every ones eye and they don't hold back on the amount of love they show her. They often fight over her. It's cute really...

So here I stand, at the crossroad to a new chapter of my life and I find that it's exciting. I'm not sure yet where that road is going to take me, maybe on a path that I haven't even planned on, but I am on my way to finding that path. Watch out world, I am going to reintegrate, and it may get a little weirder out there!