Lazy days of Summer

Oh the sweet lazy days of Summer. On my way to drive to school this morning I saw a familiar sight. Kids walking to school. It's different this time of year though. They walk a little slower, as if to absorb as much sunlight as possible before entering the doors to the schools. Its almost as though their little bodies are powered by solar power and they need to regenerate as much as possible before going inside. They walk slowly, stopping to gaze at the world as it has come to life. Fun, rare bugs creep in and out of invisible homes, baby quails run from bush to bush and if you stop to listen long enough you can hear the quiet but sweet song of summer.

This is the time of year when moms have big plans to have their kids do chores everyday, read and do bits of homework to keep their minds fresh and keep a calender handy to keep kids busy. But who needs to keep their kids busy? They lay around till noon happily, dazily eating up summer nothingness. Sprinklers, lemonade stands and swimming eat up their days. Late nights playing games with friends, fire pits with the neighbors and no schedule is what the doctor ordered.

This is a time of regeneration. Taking the stress of school, tests, cold weather, being indoors and "there just isn't enough time in a day" and putting it on the back burner so that the beautiful days of summer can reign supreme. Sunlight is essential for us to live. Not only in a "global" sense, but in a very personal sense. Just like the creepy crawlies that my little boys love to watch come out, so do the people. Friends walk with friends, families take nature walks, bikers, runners and just the nature lover come out this time of year in full force and they stay out until the first snowflake falls come fall. As humans we love the healing power of the sun. I love to close my eyes, tilt my head towards it and let it sink into every part of my being, my soul. I feel like Superman, allowing the sun to power me, refill me and keep me going for another year.

The swing on our large tree in our front yard seems out of place in suburbia. It is something you would more likely see on a dreamy farm out in the middle of nowhere. The majestic tree that cradles the swing seems to stand as a beacon, loving my kids as they swing on her branches. An old rope, piece of wood and a sturdy branch remind me of what I love about this time of year. My children use it everyday, not so patiently taking turns swinging. The grass has long since given way to happy feet, and the beautiful roots of the tree jut out, as if to say "I stand here for you, I always have, I always will...climb at my feet and I will protect you!". I love that tree and everything it represents. Lazy days of summer, how we love thee....

Ok, time to pick up the pencil again, or at least the keyboard. It's been too long when it's been almost two months! So over the last several days I have been wanting to write, but not really knowing what to write about. There's more than enough material. I mean, with ten kids there is always something to write about, right? I think today I will write the ups and downs of vacationing with ten kids.

Up...Vacation! The very word instills joy and happiness (for most anyway!). We don't get to vacation very often and thus when we do, we do it up big. Thanks to my dad who rents a condo on the beach every year, we get to go in style! Beach, sand, sun, water, water and more water, dolphins at sunrise, beautiful sunset over Dana Point, shopping at cheesy gift shops and dining at fun restaurants! It's all so good I am salivating as I sit here describing it!

Down...12 hours in a car with ten kids. Wow...where do I begin with that one? Isaac vies with Colby over the third bench because Isaac likes to lay down when on the road. Well, with twelve people in the car, a whole bench to yourself only comes if your puking, farting or just bullying. It always spurns an argument from several people. Then there's the fourth bench. Most people don't want to be in the very back of the car, until they realize how much crap they can get away with back there. Sleeping on the floor, bouncing around without seat belts because mom just can't reach all the way to the back like that, and playing naughty games that can't be heard from the front seat. The road trips are always split into two days and by day two this year right around Ontario California (only two hours from the beach) Colby looked up at me, sighed deeply and then said "Mom, I am so damn bored!". Normally I would threaten soap in the mouth of my five year old when using this language, but in this situation I just burst out laughing, in fact I am laughing as I write this....so I guess that could also be an up!

Up...the road trip does have it's perks too though because we get to stop in Vegas on our way down and back. I love this town, but mostly because we get to see my sisters and their families, at least usually we do. This year we couldn't, so we stopped in St George on our way home, and that was great too. Love those towns!

Down...sand. I love the sand, when it's on the beach, but seeing as our condo is beachfront, we have sand in every crevice of the condo all week. By the end of the week you learn to just deal with sleeping in sand. I know it's a stretch, but it can be considered a down, right? Ok, I guess lots of folks would take that when they get the beach in return. I know, I know.

Up....just about everything else is up! How could it not be? Lazy sleeping in days, casual not much to do days except lay on the beach. Shop, eat and have fun with the family in ways we can't do at home. No pressure from schools, no friends, no worries, just fun. I love these times with my family. We are in our own special element when we are on vacation. Most of the time we just sit around and enjoy each other. Those are our times to get away from the stress and strain of life and just be ourselves, with each other. Hot dogs and mallows over the fire pit. Swimming in the ocean. Burying each other in the sand, and not with the intent of murdering each other! Smiles from my kids that we just can't get any other way. I love vacations with my family. They are the best!

Down...coming home. Please don't take this personally friends and family, but when we get home there is a mailbox full of bills, crowds of friends on the doorstep, and reality staring me in the face. I have decided that I like the non reality part of life...it suits me! I admit I cried all the way to St George on Saturday. I didn't want to leave my happy place. But St George is at the top of my list of happy places and it played a good mediator to my soul. By the time we were headed back to Salt Lake on Sunday I was ok.

I am so grateful my family gets the opportunity to go on these vacations. Thanks to my dad for making that happen for us! I am grateful my family loves it the way I do. We are a better stronger family after one of our trips and that makes me a happy mom! Up!!!!!

She said what? Hahahaha......

My oh my. Kids can have the most wicked tongues in the world. They can talk back, complain, whine, moan and make any person within a 10 mile radius get an instant headache. On the other hand, they can say the funniest, most embarrassing and best things in the world. And believe me, I have heard just about all of them!

I have to relate two very funny, specific moments. Both happened recently.

First, Jessi. A couple of weeks ago Jessi and I were out and about together. Kids like to talk to mom from the back seat of the car, probably because they are bored. Jessi in particular likes to blab. She will talk to strangers, siblings, classmates and even herself. That day she was looking somewhat contemplative. She seriously looked as though she was deep in thought.
"Mom...I have decided what I want to be when I grow up..."
"Yes hon...what is it?"
"Well, I either want to be a teacher.....or a prophet..."
She was so decisive it was just hilarious! Her thought process was complete and her decision had been made. Of course being the awesome mom that I am I happily encouraged her and told her she could be anything she wanted to be when she grew up. I believe that too. I would not want to be the one to burst any one's bubble about dreams, and hers are so sweet that I had to take joy in them with her. But I think what was so funny about it was the way she threw out the prophet angle. So matter of fact, so simple, so funny that she just thinks that the prophets of our church just sort of "decide" that's what their going to do someday. Good job Jessi...I have no doubt that you will be whatever you want to be, and be successful at it!

So on to Skyler. To tell about his little funniness I have to go back several years. When Jon's sister and her husband Trevor were in town once they came to visit. Trevor said "watch this" and we did watch. He's funny that way. He called to his son Jared, who was maybe 3 at the time, to come over to us.
"Hey Jared, why don't you show your ding dong to Uncle Jon and Aunt Julie?"
We were appalled and half closed our eyes with anticipation at what he was going to show us. He lifted his shirt, stuck his cute little finger in his belly button and said "Ding dong!". We laughed, hard. Since that day we have taught each one of our kids that same thing. It's a very popular thing among the kids. They love to teach our tiny little ones the "ding dong" trick. Well, one day Skyler came to me and this was our brief conversation...
"Mom...I want a belly button!"
I admit I was confused...
"What? What did you say?"
"I want a belly button mom!"
"Huh?"
By this time he was getting flustered...
"Moooom....I want a belly button!"
I was still confused. One of my older children pointed to the items atop the fridge and said...
"Mom, he wants a ding dong!"
Indeed I had a box of ding dongs on top of the fridge. How he put the two together and figured that if his belly button was a ding dong, then a ding dong had to be a belly button. The logic in his mind made complete sense. I laughed, hard. I told everyone I knew and I admit I am kind of proud at his ability to have a sense of humor without even realizing he has one! Love it!

My kids may say lots of nasty things to me, but they also say some of the best things. Some they say to me, some are things I just overhear. My job is to make sure I am always listening so that when they complain I can tune it out, but when they make a funny I am right there to laugh with them, or at them....whichever works!

What "If"...

I have in the past written about words that I love. That post was a fun one to do. This time I decided to write about words I don't particularly love. There are some I will refrain from touching on because I think most people don't like them. Some of the more vulgar words, and not even necessarily swear words, but words that should be deemed swear words. Let's get to my list though.

First off I do not like the word less. The word all by itself denotes smaller amounts than others, or things. But add it to most any word and it creates sadness, defeat and just plain nastiness. For example; Hopeless. What a sad word. You have taken a perfectly good word that is the cornerstone of most religions, most uplifting literature and a word that is used countless times in the scriptures and made it something sad and devoid of light. Another example would be defenseless. This is how I view my children, especially when they are small, or how I view special needs people, homeless (there it is again!) people, etc. It is so sad that we even need a word like defenseless in the English language because that means that there are those that would take advantage of someone who cannot defend themselves and we have to have a word to describe said situation. How sad!

Secondly we have the word dark. This word is used to describe the loneliest time of night right before the dawn... "It's always darkest before dawn". It's also used to describe the souls of certain people. When someone has a dark soul we know immediately what they mean, right? I am sure innocent children and babies were never described as "dark souls". Or what about the great men and women who inspire us? Are they ever described as "dark"? I think not. I might also not like this word so much because it is the exact opposite of what I love the most. Light. Literally. Light, sun, bright, happy, hopeful and so on. No, I do not like the dark!

The last word I am going to highlight might just be one of the worst words ever! If. That's it. IF. "What if?". This word clouds our good judgment, it scars our past and makes us leery of our future. "What if I had chosen to go out at a different time? Would I have hit that child with my car?" "What if we I hadn't left the kids alone in the tub?" "What if we move and we hate it?" There are an infinite number of ways to use the word "if" and although there are some that are ok, most in my opinion are not. Using the word if means you don't know. Don't know which way to go, how to explain a painful event and where your life has come from. Right? If leaves too much room for doubt. You begin to question everything. Your faith, your hope, your decisions and your life. After all the if-ing you end up with a feeling of hopelessness and finally you can end up in the dark. What a vicious cycle, huh?

So friends, lets steer ourselves away from the negative words and focus on the positive. Hope, joy, fun, love and so on! I will try to keep focused on those instead of the negatives. Help me friends, help me and I will help you!

Update...facebook style!

I don't have a joke of the day today. I just had a joke of a day....

My kids are all alive, well and you will know if they're mad at me because they will post it on their status update and all their friends will like it!

I liked 12 peoples statuses today, 10 yesterday and we shall see what tomorrow brings.

2 people tagged me in photos and I called two people and threatened them to untag me or I might have to do something drastic.

Our city got snow, and you know it by the posts of friends and family, so I spent the day stalking other friends who live in Hawaii, St George, Las Vegas and Phoenix in order to placate myself about our snow....

I have a few friends and family that are about to have babies, two that are going to the dentist today, three that went on awesome dates with their spouses, two are starting new jobs, four on vacations, three have church activities, several that love life, and few that are not so in love with life and one cute daughter that hates Price.

Tax season is upon us and Facebook reflects it. Jokes, humor, pages to like and lots of humor at the governments expense. Kind of like those!

My status updates are not life riveting things, just daily life. I have lots of dentist appointments right now since we have flex spending up and going! My kids are my life, my loves and the reason I will need a straight jacket by the time I am 45! And I do enjoy Pinterest, maybe a bit too much!

Not much to tell right now, maybe there will be more by the end of the week? Around here things can change overnight!

The Bucket List

After spending so much time of Pinterest as of late I have found that my bucket list has grown exponentially. However, it has grown in ways I never thought possible. My thoughts often go to a list of "have to's before I die" and it's an interesting one. This one might be a blog that has several addendum's as time goes by and new ideas occur to me....so let's get it started, shall we?

I do not want to go down the most popular road with this entry. I want to take the road less traveled. Seriously, doesn't everyone want to travel to the tropics? Or sail around the world? Go whale watching in Alaska or fly in an air balloon? I think those things are gimme's, so I think I may try to stray from the norm here....

1. I want to walk the quiet, beautiful streets of Morano Calabro in the South of Italy. It's not a super popular destination, but a beautiful one rich with history. After all, the south of Italy is such a beautiful place.

2. Of all the places the Savior walked and taught, I really want to see the Sea of Galilee. This is where he calmed the waters and saved the fishermen. I often find that he calms the waters of my life and saves me on a daily basis. Why not be where I can put a visual to it?

3. Hold in my arms at least one beautiful grandchild. I know someday I will have some, but I want to make sure I am around for it. Don't we all take life for granted just a bit? We go along, living and making plans and sometimes life is jerked out from under us without warning. So, I made it to the point where I got to hold my own children in my arms, now I want the grandbabies...

4. I have always wanted to learn to read palms. Sounds funny, but I always have. I think I might have to look into some classes.

5. I want to attend one soccer match on an international level. Probably a championship. The rest of the world seems to love these things above all else, why not let yourself sink into the adrenaline and excitement of being at one?

6. Visit Africa. All of it. From South Africa where it is predominantly white to northern Africa where it is almost all sand. I want to see it all, but admittedly I want to get to know the people there. I think there are no more humble people than the people of Africa.

7. Go on one very awesome vacation with my family. Most specifically to Atlantis. That resort looks like the best family place in the world...I HAVE to try it!

8. Be an extra in a major motion picture. Sounds like a blast. I want to be the waiter at the restaurant while Tom Cruise and some leading lady, like Cameron Diaz plan to save the world. My fifteen minutes in the limelight!

9. Write a book. I know which one I want to write and by darn I will do it one day...I promise Susie, I will!

10. Visit the Louvre. Love love love this idea. So much beautiful artwork in one area...so worth the time and money for sure!

11. Learn another language. I am not sure which one, but I want to do it all the same. I know a bit of Spanish and I think that's the most useful one considering so many people here in our land speak it, but Chinese sounds appealing too!

12. Visit all 50 of the United States. Not just visit, but learn about them. When they became a part of the Union, the history of the state, the pros and cons of each. I love to travel and this would be such an awesome learning experience, not to mention fun! Oh, and it would have to be by Winnebago!

13. Go snorkeling on The Great Barrier Reef. Beauty all around I say!

14. Spend one day on a crab boat in the Bering Sea. I might even want to throw a line, grab a crab and spend some time on deck. Would love to have some time with the most dangerous job in the world.

15. Walk a while on the Great Wall of China. I don't necessarily want to see all seven wonders of the world, but that one I might. How magnificent. Beautiful culture, beautiful people and beautiful landscape.

16. Learn to fly a plane. I absolutely love to fly and it sounds wonderful to be able to be the one actually flying the plane. I don't think I would want to do it all the time, just knowing I can if I wanted to....

17. Visit the biggest and most beautiful castles in Scotland. So green, so quiet, so grand. I love places that are so incredibly rich in history. Wide open spaces appeal to me more than crowded ones.

18. Shop one day on Rodeo Drive. There's a lot of money involved with that one, but to shop with the rich and famous for one day would be fun. After that I'm good. To be honest, I don't even really like to shop.

19. Go to a carnival in Rio De Janeiro. Talk about people that can party. I wouldn't want to drink or anything, but experience the food, festival and fun would be a once in a lifetime thing.

20. Spend a day Hillbilly Handfishin. Talk about redneck hick kind of stuff, but wouldn't it be fun? Stand in mud to my neck, stick my hand in the mouth of a catfish and watch while the toothless guide cheers me on!

21. Spend one week in the most luxurious hotel in Manhattan and get waited on hand and foot. Shows, tours and fine dining while there would be a must. Experience the best that most famous city on earth has to offer.

22. One whole day walking the hills of Cumorah. So rich in my own religions history. I would love to see what Joseph might have been seeing and hear the voices of our ancestors in the songs of birds there. Spiritual beauty in it's fullest.

23. Be a part of my very own 50th wedding anniversary. So few get to that point anymore, robbed of this experience through death or divorce. I want to look into Jon's eyes, old with time, and spent of energy, but there with me all the same. How many people can say they get to that point anymore?

24. Not only be in the room, but holding the hand of a loved one as they cross over to the other side. It would be a privilege to be the last person a loved one sees before they die. It would comfort me as much as them, I would hope.

25. Swim with the dolphins. I would love to be a temporary part of this sea creatures family for a few minutes. I am sure if mystical creatures actually existed God would have made me a mermaid. I was born near the sea, I love to be close to the sea and if I can I want to die on it's warm beaches. I love the ocean in all it's glory!

That's all for now, I am sure as I go throughout all my days I will think of a million things to add to this list, but I think that's it for now. I will go and continue to dream, pursue and work towards all these things. Good luck on your own journeys friends...make every moment count!

My advice?

I have been a mom now for almost 20 years. Not only that, but a mom to ten kids and a pseudo mom to more than 45 daycare kids over the years. That's a lot of kids and tons of experience on my part. Sometimes people come to me and ask my advice. Sometimes! Potty training, discipline, parties, holidays and vacations, plus more. It goes on and on. Most of the time I am flattered that they ask because maybe they think after all these kids that I might have something good to say. I won't go into the darker corners of my mind that say "Maybe they ask so they can do the opposite of what I did, to get different results!". Either way, I get questions. Here is some of my advice for any mom, mom to be and friend.

1. Laugh. Day, night and every time in between...laugh about it all. Yourself when you lose it over something stupid. Over the kids when they do something stupid that you have to fix, or clean. Over yourself and your husband when you make wonderful plans for "alone time" once the kids are in bed and you find yourselves too dang tired for anything of the kind. Laughter is the best medicine and it is contagious, I promise. Jon often finds himself laughing about something that normally would make him mad just because I can't help but laugh and vice versa. Laugh away folks, it might just save your sanity.

2. Potty training. First off, don't compare your kids to each other or your friends kids. After ten kids I can tell you every child is different! No two kids are alike. I had one child that was potty trained literally in one day. One day...no joke. I refused to put a diaper on him one morning and by noon he had underwear on and had no accidents. It was that easy. On the other hand, I had a kiddo that wet her pants well into the third grade....so moral of the story? Try, try hard, don't cry over a little pee and just hang in there. They all eventually do it where they should and when they should. After that it's just an issue of teaching the boys that the toilet isn't a moving target and the girls that toilet paper is better used in moderation!

3. Staying sane. How do I do it? Do I look sane to you? Yeah, don't answer that! Staying sane has several tricks to it. One of them I have already discussed...laughing. There are other ways though. One would be to go on a regular date with your hubby. These times usually are spent unloading on my spouse all of my frustrations about the kids. He also unloads on me. It may be unfair to the kids, it might just save their lives. Either way, it's good for both of us. I also like to go out with a friend once in a while. Since Jon has worked two jobs it only happens once a month or so, but it's better than nothing. There are other ways to preserve sanity. I like to take long showers followed by a bath. I relax, listen to the poundings on the door and pretend I don't hear them. They eventually go away. One more way is for me to sit up after the last kids are in bed and watch my tv programming and eat food I don't like sharing, like chocolate and soda, and sit wherever I want and enjoy quiet time. It can sometimes be a toss up between the extra sleep or the time alone, but either way it's to my benefit.

4. Love unconditionally. This can be the hardest thing for any parent to do. We think we all do it, but do we? We place expectations on our kids, rules, guidelines and exceptions. "Get all a's in school and you get money", "Stay by mommy and you get treats when we get in the car", "Go to church", "Go to college", "Get a job and pay your own way!". When all is said and done we want what we want for our kids, because we know ways in which they can be happy, but we need to trust that they know what's good for them too. We may want our kiddo to go to law school, while they want to go to art school. We should never underestimate our kids by confining them to our own standards and expectations. Not only allow them to spread those beautiful wings of theirs, but be completely supportive while they do it. If they fall and need help, we can be there to help nurse them back to health, with our unconditional love.

5. Offer choices. Oh how I hate to offer choices sometimes. "Sweetie, just get on your jammies and get in bed....NOW!" No choice there. I want it done, now do it! However, parenting is evolving and our ideas should evolve with it. The idea that children should be offered choices is a brilliant one, in theory, but much harder in practice. When my kids were little it was a bit easier, because the choice was much simpler and smaller..."Pick up your toys right now and then let's watch a movie, or I pick them up and they get put away....your choice". Choices as the kids get older are much harder for them, and much harder for us to follow through with. But so essential.

6. Inspire them. Never stop reaching for your own goals and dreams. They will model you. Be the kind of person that says to the world " I will never quit, no matter how hard it gets!" Be the kind of person that says "My mind and heart will ever strive for more, more knowledge, more adventure, more spirituality!", and they will mimic you. Be the kind of person that your children will praise to the world, just the way you have spent your life telling the world about your amazing children.

7. Love the life you've chosen. So many men and women grow up, have kids, get jobs and then realize they are miserable. Figure out what started you on your journey and then remember it everyday. Your life does mean something, it is worth something and learn to love it just the way it is. My life is anything but glamorous, but it's mine. I mean something to my kids when I praise them, love them and lift them up. I mean something to the friend that needed a good laugh that particular day. I mean something to the neighbor that needed some help just when I offered. I mean something to my sweet mom who loves to talk to me everyday, even if we don't have much to say. I mean something to my husband who wants to know he means something to me. We have each other. My life matters, make sure your kids know theirs do too.

I am sure I could think of much more, but I will stop here. If you have questions, ask me. I can't guarantee that I will have an answer for you, but I can try. And please, if you feel there is something in my life that needs improvement, just say so. Don't be offended if I hang up on you, I will later realize you were right and try to be better! :)