He started it!

The fights. This might just be the number one thing I will not miss when my kids are grown and gone. Now please do not assume I am stupid or naive and do not believe that my children will be capable of fighting as adults. I am sure I will hear from them in future days unloading to me about how so and so did this and that...I know I will hear it. But, the wonderful thing about that is that I can hang up the phone the them and sit in my perfectly silent home and smile sweetly at the calm around me.

For some reason it starts when I am on the phone. The worst seems to be when I am on the phone with one of my sisters from out of town, so that means long distance and me actually paying money to sit with a phone to my ear while listening to the kids fight around me.

"MOM?"
"Moooooooom?"
"Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom..."
I finally cannot ignore them anymore.
"Hold on Lori....WHAT?"
"Mom, Isaac just called me stupid!"
"Well, she called me a jerk so I called her stupid...I mean she is isn't she?"
After putting the phone to my stomach and having to place my whole person between the two children I try to disarm them quickly so Lori doesn't have to pay money to listen to me parent.
"Ok ok ok, I have no idea who started it..."
"He did...he tripped me and then I called him a jerk, but he had it coming!"
"I did not have it coming she is just mean...she is always mean!"
This goes on for several more rounds before I can just get in the words "EVERYone be nice or you can all go to your rooms! GOT IT?"
One minor scrape taken care of, but be rest assured there will be more.

I am not sure if it's an inherited trait, a learned trait or that kids are just much more free with their minds and mouths these days, but if I fought with my siblings the way my kids fight my parents would have put me back on the market.
"Free kid to good home....will send food with her!"
My kids will kick, scream, slap, pinch and even bite when the need arises. Most of them are not afraid of a confrontation and will go head to head with each other, some being much smaller than their competitor, but not caring one bit. They will stand their ground. I have seen Colby take on Megan, Jessi take on Isaac and even Joe take on McKenna. And that brings me to another point, not any two of them are good enough friends that they don't occasionally fight. Even Kenna, who loves and adores Skyler with all she is, will get to the point once in a while where she is using sharp words and is impatient with him. It happens with any and all combos of kids.

I do understand that I have 11 people (soon to be 12) in one little home and there is bound to be contention. I think I have more than most, but maybe that is just my perception. There are some combos of kids that are almost always volatile. Joe and Isaac are a perfect example. Those two cannot be in the same room more one minute without trying to kill each other...with bare hands if necessary. Some of them run hot and cold. Abby and Megan can be best friends one minute and the worst of enemies the next.

One of my favorite times as a parent is to hear the yelling, followed by the crying, sometimes even followed by some blood and have the bigger, non crying child come out of the room saying "I don't know what happened....they just started crying!"
Yeah...right....uh huh....makes me think of Polly telling me the story of two of her kids. One was crying profusely with a huge red hand print on his face while his older sister stood there and innocently said "He fell on my hand!". Really folks? You want me to believe that?

Well, for all the things I imagined would be said in my home once my kids gained verbal ability I never thought "SHUT UP", "You jerk", "I hate you" and "I wanna kill you" would be some of the daily staples. But they are. I love my kids, I think they love each other, but I do not love some of the things they say to each other and to me and Jon and I am sure I will not miss hearing them everyday when they are gone!

Bye bye now, don't let the door hit ya on the way out!