Not gonna happen dear, sorry....

Facebook is a barrage of posts from friends and family about their lives, their days, their ups, downs and everything in between. Most days I can relate to one or most of them. People talking about their moves, their children's lives, jobs, dates, sicknesses...just about anything and everything you can imagine. I often feel like I am in the heads of all of my friends. Most times it's fun, at times it's not necessary and then there are times when I just wish I had not read what I read! The posts though that baffle me the most are the ones where cute mom's regal stories of "fun field trips" with the kids. Really? Fun? Let's explore this...

Your kids bug you for about a month in advance to try to get you to go.
"Mom, were going to the Wetlands on Sept 25th. Can you come with my class?"
My mind races with speed I didn't know existed to find an excuse not to go...
"I'm not sure honey, I will have to look at my calendar"
"Can you do that now mom, I reaaaaaally want you to go!"
I spend the next several weeks playing ping pong with my kiddo about the field trip. Honestly folks...I don't like them.

First you get a million kids together and pile them on the bus. Ok, I know it's not a million, but it sure feels that way when you get 100 or so 3rd graders together to get on a bus and head to the zoo. They are hyper and excited and I just keep wondering how many are going to get lost and how long it will take before the National Guard is called out. That many little people in one space is insane. Only to take them to a much bigger space and hope they don't go in twelve different directions. As a chaperon you chase, scramble, count heads and scream while trying desperately to sound like your being "nice"!

Once at the zoo you go from animal to animal, keeping kids off fences, out of trees and off the golf carts the zoo employees left unattended. By the time you get to lunch time it's that 4 and half minutes of everyone sitted in one place eating as fast as they can so they can get on their way. Kids don't like to be told to sit and hold still for any amount of time while on a field trip. After all, a field trip is a license to get out of school and do the things they can't while at school. Run around, touch everything and learn nothing.

By the end of the day when the kids are getting back on the bus I am ready to drop dead. I get off the bus desperately eyeing where I left my car, counting the seconds till I can get in it and run far far away. I love the kids, I love the zoo, I just don't love all the kids at the zoo being my responsibility. My own children are hard enough...half of the schools kids is just too much. When I finally get home and sit down, plug myself into Facebook via the ipad I am surprised to read what the other mommas have said about the same event. "It was fun!", "an adventure" and "great!". Really? I beg to differ. I leave those events tired, brain dead and swearing to be in Tonga the next time a field trip comes around. So when my kiddo asks with enthusiasm if I can make the next field trip it's no wonder the skin on my neck goes up, my eye starts to twitch and my stomach does flip flops. I don't like those. Kuddos to those moms that love those events, I however do not! Sorry kids....