My oh my. Kids can have the most wicked tongues in the world. They can talk back, complain, whine, moan and make any person within a 10 mile radius get an instant headache. On the other hand, they can say the funniest, most embarrassing and best things in the world. And believe me, I have heard just about all of them!
I have to relate two very funny, specific moments. Both happened recently.
First, Jessi. A couple of weeks ago Jessi and I were out and about together. Kids like to talk to mom from the back seat of the car, probably because they are bored. Jessi in particular likes to blab. She will talk to strangers, siblings, classmates and even herself. That day she was looking somewhat contemplative. She seriously looked as though she was deep in thought.
"Mom...I have decided what I want to be when I grow up..."
"Yes hon...what is it?"
"Well, I either want to be a teacher.....or a prophet..."
She was so decisive it was just hilarious! Her thought process was complete and her decision had been made. Of course being the awesome mom that I am I happily encouraged her and told her she could be anything she wanted to be when she grew up. I believe that too. I would not want to be the one to burst any one's bubble about dreams, and hers are so sweet that I had to take joy in them with her. But I think what was so funny about it was the way she threw out the prophet angle. So matter of fact, so simple, so funny that she just thinks that the prophets of our church just sort of "decide" that's what their going to do someday. Good job Jessi...I have no doubt that you will be whatever you want to be, and be successful at it!
So on to Skyler. To tell about his little funniness I have to go back several years. When Jon's sister and her husband Trevor were in town once they came to visit. Trevor said "watch this" and we did watch. He's funny that way. He called to his son Jared, who was maybe 3 at the time, to come over to us.
"Hey Jared, why don't you show your ding dong to Uncle Jon and Aunt Julie?"
We were appalled and half closed our eyes with anticipation at what he was going to show us. He lifted his shirt, stuck his cute little finger in his belly button and said "Ding dong!". We laughed, hard. Since that day we have taught each one of our kids that same thing. It's a very popular thing among the kids. They love to teach our tiny little ones the "ding dong" trick. Well, one day Skyler came to me and this was our brief conversation...
"Mom...I want a belly button!"
I admit I was confused...
"What? What did you say?"
"I want a belly button mom!"
"Huh?"
By this time he was getting flustered...
"Moooom....I want a belly button!"
I was still confused. One of my older children pointed to the items atop the fridge and said...
"Mom, he wants a ding dong!"
Indeed I had a box of ding dongs on top of the fridge. How he put the two together and figured that if his belly button was a ding dong, then a ding dong had to be a belly button. The logic in his mind made complete sense. I laughed, hard. I told everyone I knew and I admit I am kind of proud at his ability to have a sense of humor without even realizing he has one! Love it!
My kids may say lots of nasty things to me, but they also say some of the best things. Some they say to me, some are things I just overhear. My job is to make sure I am always listening so that when they complain I can tune it out, but when they make a funny I am right there to laugh with them, or at them....whichever works!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
What "If"...
I have in the past written about words that I love. That post was a fun one to do. This time I decided to write about words I don't particularly love. There are some I will refrain from touching on because I think most people don't like them. Some of the more vulgar words, and not even necessarily swear words, but words that should be deemed swear words. Let's get to my list though.
First off I do not like the word less. The word all by itself denotes smaller amounts than others, or things. But add it to most any word and it creates sadness, defeat and just plain nastiness. For example; Hopeless. What a sad word. You have taken a perfectly good word that is the cornerstone of most religions, most uplifting literature and a word that is used countless times in the scriptures and made it something sad and devoid of light. Another example would be defenseless. This is how I view my children, especially when they are small, or how I view special needs people, homeless (there it is again!) people, etc. It is so sad that we even need a word like defenseless in the English language because that means that there are those that would take advantage of someone who cannot defend themselves and we have to have a word to describe said situation. How sad!
Secondly we have the word dark. This word is used to describe the loneliest time of night right before the dawn... "It's always darkest before dawn". It's also used to describe the souls of certain people. When someone has a dark soul we know immediately what they mean, right? I am sure innocent children and babies were never described as "dark souls". Or what about the great men and women who inspire us? Are they ever described as "dark"? I think not. I might also not like this word so much because it is the exact opposite of what I love the most. Light. Literally. Light, sun, bright, happy, hopeful and so on. No, I do not like the dark!
The last word I am going to highlight might just be one of the worst words ever! If. That's it. IF. "What if?". This word clouds our good judgment, it scars our past and makes us leery of our future. "What if I had chosen to go out at a different time? Would I have hit that child with my car?" "What if we I hadn't left the kids alone in the tub?" "What if we move and we hate it?" There are an infinite number of ways to use the word "if" and although there are some that are ok, most in my opinion are not. Using the word if means you don't know. Don't know which way to go, how to explain a painful event and where your life has come from. Right? If leaves too much room for doubt. You begin to question everything. Your faith, your hope, your decisions and your life. After all the if-ing you end up with a feeling of hopelessness and finally you can end up in the dark. What a vicious cycle, huh?
So friends, lets steer ourselves away from the negative words and focus on the positive. Hope, joy, fun, love and so on! I will try to keep focused on those instead of the negatives. Help me friends, help me and I will help you!
First off I do not like the word less. The word all by itself denotes smaller amounts than others, or things. But add it to most any word and it creates sadness, defeat and just plain nastiness. For example; Hopeless. What a sad word. You have taken a perfectly good word that is the cornerstone of most religions, most uplifting literature and a word that is used countless times in the scriptures and made it something sad and devoid of light. Another example would be defenseless. This is how I view my children, especially when they are small, or how I view special needs people, homeless (there it is again!) people, etc. It is so sad that we even need a word like defenseless in the English language because that means that there are those that would take advantage of someone who cannot defend themselves and we have to have a word to describe said situation. How sad!
Secondly we have the word dark. This word is used to describe the loneliest time of night right before the dawn... "It's always darkest before dawn". It's also used to describe the souls of certain people. When someone has a dark soul we know immediately what they mean, right? I am sure innocent children and babies were never described as "dark souls". Or what about the great men and women who inspire us? Are they ever described as "dark"? I think not. I might also not like this word so much because it is the exact opposite of what I love the most. Light. Literally. Light, sun, bright, happy, hopeful and so on. No, I do not like the dark!
The last word I am going to highlight might just be one of the worst words ever! If. That's it. IF. "What if?". This word clouds our good judgment, it scars our past and makes us leery of our future. "What if I had chosen to go out at a different time? Would I have hit that child with my car?" "What if we I hadn't left the kids alone in the tub?" "What if we move and we hate it?" There are an infinite number of ways to use the word "if" and although there are some that are ok, most in my opinion are not. Using the word if means you don't know. Don't know which way to go, how to explain a painful event and where your life has come from. Right? If leaves too much room for doubt. You begin to question everything. Your faith, your hope, your decisions and your life. After all the if-ing you end up with a feeling of hopelessness and finally you can end up in the dark. What a vicious cycle, huh?
So friends, lets steer ourselves away from the negative words and focus on the positive. Hope, joy, fun, love and so on! I will try to keep focused on those instead of the negatives. Help me friends, help me and I will help you!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Update...facebook style!
I don't have a joke of the day today. I just had a joke of a day....
My kids are all alive, well and you will know if they're mad at me because they will post it on their status update and all their friends will like it!
I liked 12 peoples statuses today, 10 yesterday and we shall see what tomorrow brings.
2 people tagged me in photos and I called two people and threatened them to untag me or I might have to do something drastic.
Our city got snow, and you know it by the posts of friends and family, so I spent the day stalking other friends who live in Hawaii, St George, Las Vegas and Phoenix in order to placate myself about our snow....
I have a few friends and family that are about to have babies, two that are going to the dentist today, three that went on awesome dates with their spouses, two are starting new jobs, four on vacations, three have church activities, several that love life, and few that are not so in love with life and one cute daughter that hates Price.
Tax season is upon us and Facebook reflects it. Jokes, humor, pages to like and lots of humor at the governments expense. Kind of like those!
My status updates are not life riveting things, just daily life. I have lots of dentist appointments right now since we have flex spending up and going! My kids are my life, my loves and the reason I will need a straight jacket by the time I am 45! And I do enjoy Pinterest, maybe a bit too much!
Not much to tell right now, maybe there will be more by the end of the week? Around here things can change overnight!
My kids are all alive, well and you will know if they're mad at me because they will post it on their status update and all their friends will like it!
I liked 12 peoples statuses today, 10 yesterday and we shall see what tomorrow brings.
2 people tagged me in photos and I called two people and threatened them to untag me or I might have to do something drastic.
Our city got snow, and you know it by the posts of friends and family, so I spent the day stalking other friends who live in Hawaii, St George, Las Vegas and Phoenix in order to placate myself about our snow....
I have a few friends and family that are about to have babies, two that are going to the dentist today, three that went on awesome dates with their spouses, two are starting new jobs, four on vacations, three have church activities, several that love life, and few that are not so in love with life and one cute daughter that hates Price.
Tax season is upon us and Facebook reflects it. Jokes, humor, pages to like and lots of humor at the governments expense. Kind of like those!
My status updates are not life riveting things, just daily life. I have lots of dentist appointments right now since we have flex spending up and going! My kids are my life, my loves and the reason I will need a straight jacket by the time I am 45! And I do enjoy Pinterest, maybe a bit too much!
Not much to tell right now, maybe there will be more by the end of the week? Around here things can change overnight!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
The Bucket List
After spending so much time of Pinterest as of late I have found that my bucket list has grown exponentially. However, it has grown in ways I never thought possible. My thoughts often go to a list of "have to's before I die" and it's an interesting one. This one might be a blog that has several addendum's as time goes by and new ideas occur to me....so let's get it started, shall we?
I do not want to go down the most popular road with this entry. I want to take the road less traveled. Seriously, doesn't everyone want to travel to the tropics? Or sail around the world? Go whale watching in Alaska or fly in an air balloon? I think those things are gimme's, so I think I may try to stray from the norm here....
1. I want to walk the quiet, beautiful streets of Morano Calabro in the South of Italy. It's not a super popular destination, but a beautiful one rich with history. After all, the south of Italy is such a beautiful place.
2. Of all the places the Savior walked and taught, I really want to see the Sea of Galilee. This is where he calmed the waters and saved the fishermen. I often find that he calms the waters of my life and saves me on a daily basis. Why not be where I can put a visual to it?
3. Hold in my arms at least one beautiful grandchild. I know someday I will have some, but I want to make sure I am around for it. Don't we all take life for granted just a bit? We go along, living and making plans and sometimes life is jerked out from under us without warning. So, I made it to the point where I got to hold my own children in my arms, now I want the grandbabies...
4. I have always wanted to learn to read palms. Sounds funny, but I always have. I think I might have to look into some classes.
5. I want to attend one soccer match on an international level. Probably a championship. The rest of the world seems to love these things above all else, why not let yourself sink into the adrenaline and excitement of being at one?
6. Visit Africa. All of it. From South Africa where it is predominantly white to northern Africa where it is almost all sand. I want to see it all, but admittedly I want to get to know the people there. I think there are no more humble people than the people of Africa.
7. Go on one very awesome vacation with my family. Most specifically to Atlantis. That resort looks like the best family place in the world...I HAVE to try it!
8. Be an extra in a major motion picture. Sounds like a blast. I want to be the waiter at the restaurant while Tom Cruise and some leading lady, like Cameron Diaz plan to save the world. My fifteen minutes in the limelight!
9. Write a book. I know which one I want to write and by darn I will do it one day...I promise Susie, I will!
10. Visit the Louvre. Love love love this idea. So much beautiful artwork in one area...so worth the time and money for sure!
11. Learn another language. I am not sure which one, but I want to do it all the same. I know a bit of Spanish and I think that's the most useful one considering so many people here in our land speak it, but Chinese sounds appealing too!
12. Visit all 50 of the United States. Not just visit, but learn about them. When they became a part of the Union, the history of the state, the pros and cons of each. I love to travel and this would be such an awesome learning experience, not to mention fun! Oh, and it would have to be by Winnebago!
13. Go snorkeling on The Great Barrier Reef. Beauty all around I say!
14. Spend one day on a crab boat in the Bering Sea. I might even want to throw a line, grab a crab and spend some time on deck. Would love to have some time with the most dangerous job in the world.
15. Walk a while on the Great Wall of China. I don't necessarily want to see all seven wonders of the world, but that one I might. How magnificent. Beautiful culture, beautiful people and beautiful landscape.
16. Learn to fly a plane. I absolutely love to fly and it sounds wonderful to be able to be the one actually flying the plane. I don't think I would want to do it all the time, just knowing I can if I wanted to....
17. Visit the biggest and most beautiful castles in Scotland. So green, so quiet, so grand. I love places that are so incredibly rich in history. Wide open spaces appeal to me more than crowded ones.
18. Shop one day on Rodeo Drive. There's a lot of money involved with that one, but to shop with the rich and famous for one day would be fun. After that I'm good. To be honest, I don't even really like to shop.
19. Go to a carnival in Rio De Janeiro. Talk about people that can party. I wouldn't want to drink or anything, but experience the food, festival and fun would be a once in a lifetime thing.
20. Spend a day Hillbilly Handfishin. Talk about redneck hick kind of stuff, but wouldn't it be fun? Stand in mud to my neck, stick my hand in the mouth of a catfish and watch while the toothless guide cheers me on!
21. Spend one week in the most luxurious hotel in Manhattan and get waited on hand and foot. Shows, tours and fine dining while there would be a must. Experience the best that most famous city on earth has to offer.
22. One whole day walking the hills of Cumorah. So rich in my own religions history. I would love to see what Joseph might have been seeing and hear the voices of our ancestors in the songs of birds there. Spiritual beauty in it's fullest.
23. Be a part of my very own 50th wedding anniversary. So few get to that point anymore, robbed of this experience through death or divorce. I want to look into Jon's eyes, old with time, and spent of energy, but there with me all the same. How many people can say they get to that point anymore?
24. Not only be in the room, but holding the hand of a loved one as they cross over to the other side. It would be a privilege to be the last person a loved one sees before they die. It would comfort me as much as them, I would hope.
25. Swim with the dolphins. I would love to be a temporary part of this sea creatures family for a few minutes. I am sure if mystical creatures actually existed God would have made me a mermaid. I was born near the sea, I love to be close to the sea and if I can I want to die on it's warm beaches. I love the ocean in all it's glory!
That's all for now, I am sure as I go throughout all my days I will think of a million things to add to this list, but I think that's it for now. I will go and continue to dream, pursue and work towards all these things. Good luck on your own journeys friends...make every moment count!
I do not want to go down the most popular road with this entry. I want to take the road less traveled. Seriously, doesn't everyone want to travel to the tropics? Or sail around the world? Go whale watching in Alaska or fly in an air balloon? I think those things are gimme's, so I think I may try to stray from the norm here....
1. I want to walk the quiet, beautiful streets of Morano Calabro in the South of Italy. It's not a super popular destination, but a beautiful one rich with history. After all, the south of Italy is such a beautiful place.
2. Of all the places the Savior walked and taught, I really want to see the Sea of Galilee. This is where he calmed the waters and saved the fishermen. I often find that he calms the waters of my life and saves me on a daily basis. Why not be where I can put a visual to it?
3. Hold in my arms at least one beautiful grandchild. I know someday I will have some, but I want to make sure I am around for it. Don't we all take life for granted just a bit? We go along, living and making plans and sometimes life is jerked out from under us without warning. So, I made it to the point where I got to hold my own children in my arms, now I want the grandbabies...
4. I have always wanted to learn to read palms. Sounds funny, but I always have. I think I might have to look into some classes.
5. I want to attend one soccer match on an international level. Probably a championship. The rest of the world seems to love these things above all else, why not let yourself sink into the adrenaline and excitement of being at one?
6. Visit Africa. All of it. From South Africa where it is predominantly white to northern Africa where it is almost all sand. I want to see it all, but admittedly I want to get to know the people there. I think there are no more humble people than the people of Africa.
7. Go on one very awesome vacation with my family. Most specifically to Atlantis. That resort looks like the best family place in the world...I HAVE to try it!
8. Be an extra in a major motion picture. Sounds like a blast. I want to be the waiter at the restaurant while Tom Cruise and some leading lady, like Cameron Diaz plan to save the world. My fifteen minutes in the limelight!
9. Write a book. I know which one I want to write and by darn I will do it one day...I promise Susie, I will!
10. Visit the Louvre. Love love love this idea. So much beautiful artwork in one area...so worth the time and money for sure!
11. Learn another language. I am not sure which one, but I want to do it all the same. I know a bit of Spanish and I think that's the most useful one considering so many people here in our land speak it, but Chinese sounds appealing too!
12. Visit all 50 of the United States. Not just visit, but learn about them. When they became a part of the Union, the history of the state, the pros and cons of each. I love to travel and this would be such an awesome learning experience, not to mention fun! Oh, and it would have to be by Winnebago!
13. Go snorkeling on The Great Barrier Reef. Beauty all around I say!
14. Spend one day on a crab boat in the Bering Sea. I might even want to throw a line, grab a crab and spend some time on deck. Would love to have some time with the most dangerous job in the world.
15. Walk a while on the Great Wall of China. I don't necessarily want to see all seven wonders of the world, but that one I might. How magnificent. Beautiful culture, beautiful people and beautiful landscape.
16. Learn to fly a plane. I absolutely love to fly and it sounds wonderful to be able to be the one actually flying the plane. I don't think I would want to do it all the time, just knowing I can if I wanted to....
17. Visit the biggest and most beautiful castles in Scotland. So green, so quiet, so grand. I love places that are so incredibly rich in history. Wide open spaces appeal to me more than crowded ones.
18. Shop one day on Rodeo Drive. There's a lot of money involved with that one, but to shop with the rich and famous for one day would be fun. After that I'm good. To be honest, I don't even really like to shop.
19. Go to a carnival in Rio De Janeiro. Talk about people that can party. I wouldn't want to drink or anything, but experience the food, festival and fun would be a once in a lifetime thing.
20. Spend a day Hillbilly Handfishin. Talk about redneck hick kind of stuff, but wouldn't it be fun? Stand in mud to my neck, stick my hand in the mouth of a catfish and watch while the toothless guide cheers me on!
21. Spend one week in the most luxurious hotel in Manhattan and get waited on hand and foot. Shows, tours and fine dining while there would be a must. Experience the best that most famous city on earth has to offer.
22. One whole day walking the hills of Cumorah. So rich in my own religions history. I would love to see what Joseph might have been seeing and hear the voices of our ancestors in the songs of birds there. Spiritual beauty in it's fullest.
23. Be a part of my very own 50th wedding anniversary. So few get to that point anymore, robbed of this experience through death or divorce. I want to look into Jon's eyes, old with time, and spent of energy, but there with me all the same. How many people can say they get to that point anymore?
24. Not only be in the room, but holding the hand of a loved one as they cross over to the other side. It would be a privilege to be the last person a loved one sees before they die. It would comfort me as much as them, I would hope.
25. Swim with the dolphins. I would love to be a temporary part of this sea creatures family for a few minutes. I am sure if mystical creatures actually existed God would have made me a mermaid. I was born near the sea, I love to be close to the sea and if I can I want to die on it's warm beaches. I love the ocean in all it's glory!
That's all for now, I am sure as I go throughout all my days I will think of a million things to add to this list, but I think that's it for now. I will go and continue to dream, pursue and work towards all these things. Good luck on your own journeys friends...make every moment count!
Monday, January 30, 2012
My advice?
I have been a mom now for almost 20 years. Not only that, but a mom to ten kids and a pseudo mom to more than 45 daycare kids over the years. That's a lot of kids and tons of experience on my part. Sometimes people come to me and ask my advice. Sometimes! Potty training, discipline, parties, holidays and vacations, plus more. It goes on and on. Most of the time I am flattered that they ask because maybe they think after all these kids that I might have something good to say. I won't go into the darker corners of my mind that say "Maybe they ask so they can do the opposite of what I did, to get different results!". Either way, I get questions. Here is some of my advice for any mom, mom to be and friend.
1. Laugh. Day, night and every time in between...laugh about it all. Yourself when you lose it over something stupid. Over the kids when they do something stupid that you have to fix, or clean. Over yourself and your husband when you make wonderful plans for "alone time" once the kids are in bed and you find yourselves too dang tired for anything of the kind. Laughter is the best medicine and it is contagious, I promise. Jon often finds himself laughing about something that normally would make him mad just because I can't help but laugh and vice versa. Laugh away folks, it might just save your sanity.
2. Potty training. First off, don't compare your kids to each other or your friends kids. After ten kids I can tell you every child is different! No two kids are alike. I had one child that was potty trained literally in one day. One day...no joke. I refused to put a diaper on him one morning and by noon he had underwear on and had no accidents. It was that easy. On the other hand, I had a kiddo that wet her pants well into the third grade....so moral of the story? Try, try hard, don't cry over a little pee and just hang in there. They all eventually do it where they should and when they should. After that it's just an issue of teaching the boys that the toilet isn't a moving target and the girls that toilet paper is better used in moderation!
3. Staying sane. How do I do it? Do I look sane to you? Yeah, don't answer that! Staying sane has several tricks to it. One of them I have already discussed...laughing. There are other ways though. One would be to go on a regular date with your hubby. These times usually are spent unloading on my spouse all of my frustrations about the kids. He also unloads on me. It may be unfair to the kids, it might just save their lives. Either way, it's good for both of us. I also like to go out with a friend once in a while. Since Jon has worked two jobs it only happens once a month or so, but it's better than nothing. There are other ways to preserve sanity. I like to take long showers followed by a bath. I relax, listen to the poundings on the door and pretend I don't hear them. They eventually go away. One more way is for me to sit up after the last kids are in bed and watch my tv programming and eat food I don't like sharing, like chocolate and soda, and sit wherever I want and enjoy quiet time. It can sometimes be a toss up between the extra sleep or the time alone, but either way it's to my benefit.
4. Love unconditionally. This can be the hardest thing for any parent to do. We think we all do it, but do we? We place expectations on our kids, rules, guidelines and exceptions. "Get all a's in school and you get money", "Stay by mommy and you get treats when we get in the car", "Go to church", "Go to college", "Get a job and pay your own way!". When all is said and done we want what we want for our kids, because we know ways in which they can be happy, but we need to trust that they know what's good for them too. We may want our kiddo to go to law school, while they want to go to art school. We should never underestimate our kids by confining them to our own standards and expectations. Not only allow them to spread those beautiful wings of theirs, but be completely supportive while they do it. If they fall and need help, we can be there to help nurse them back to health, with our unconditional love.
5. Offer choices. Oh how I hate to offer choices sometimes. "Sweetie, just get on your jammies and get in bed....NOW!" No choice there. I want it done, now do it! However, parenting is evolving and our ideas should evolve with it. The idea that children should be offered choices is a brilliant one, in theory, but much harder in practice. When my kids were little it was a bit easier, because the choice was much simpler and smaller..."Pick up your toys right now and then let's watch a movie, or I pick them up and they get put away....your choice". Choices as the kids get older are much harder for them, and much harder for us to follow through with. But so essential.
6. Inspire them. Never stop reaching for your own goals and dreams. They will model you. Be the kind of person that says to the world " I will never quit, no matter how hard it gets!" Be the kind of person that says "My mind and heart will ever strive for more, more knowledge, more adventure, more spirituality!", and they will mimic you. Be the kind of person that your children will praise to the world, just the way you have spent your life telling the world about your amazing children.
7. Love the life you've chosen. So many men and women grow up, have kids, get jobs and then realize they are miserable. Figure out what started you on your journey and then remember it everyday. Your life does mean something, it is worth something and learn to love it just the way it is. My life is anything but glamorous, but it's mine. I mean something to my kids when I praise them, love them and lift them up. I mean something to the friend that needed a good laugh that particular day. I mean something to the neighbor that needed some help just when I offered. I mean something to my sweet mom who loves to talk to me everyday, even if we don't have much to say. I mean something to my husband who wants to know he means something to me. We have each other. My life matters, make sure your kids know theirs do too.
I am sure I could think of much more, but I will stop here. If you have questions, ask me. I can't guarantee that I will have an answer for you, but I can try. And please, if you feel there is something in my life that needs improvement, just say so. Don't be offended if I hang up on you, I will later realize you were right and try to be better! :)
1. Laugh. Day, night and every time in between...laugh about it all. Yourself when you lose it over something stupid. Over the kids when they do something stupid that you have to fix, or clean. Over yourself and your husband when you make wonderful plans for "alone time" once the kids are in bed and you find yourselves too dang tired for anything of the kind. Laughter is the best medicine and it is contagious, I promise. Jon often finds himself laughing about something that normally would make him mad just because I can't help but laugh and vice versa. Laugh away folks, it might just save your sanity.
2. Potty training. First off, don't compare your kids to each other or your friends kids. After ten kids I can tell you every child is different! No two kids are alike. I had one child that was potty trained literally in one day. One day...no joke. I refused to put a diaper on him one morning and by noon he had underwear on and had no accidents. It was that easy. On the other hand, I had a kiddo that wet her pants well into the third grade....so moral of the story? Try, try hard, don't cry over a little pee and just hang in there. They all eventually do it where they should and when they should. After that it's just an issue of teaching the boys that the toilet isn't a moving target and the girls that toilet paper is better used in moderation!
3. Staying sane. How do I do it? Do I look sane to you? Yeah, don't answer that! Staying sane has several tricks to it. One of them I have already discussed...laughing. There are other ways though. One would be to go on a regular date with your hubby. These times usually are spent unloading on my spouse all of my frustrations about the kids. He also unloads on me. It may be unfair to the kids, it might just save their lives. Either way, it's good for both of us. I also like to go out with a friend once in a while. Since Jon has worked two jobs it only happens once a month or so, but it's better than nothing. There are other ways to preserve sanity. I like to take long showers followed by a bath. I relax, listen to the poundings on the door and pretend I don't hear them. They eventually go away. One more way is for me to sit up after the last kids are in bed and watch my tv programming and eat food I don't like sharing, like chocolate and soda, and sit wherever I want and enjoy quiet time. It can sometimes be a toss up between the extra sleep or the time alone, but either way it's to my benefit.
4. Love unconditionally. This can be the hardest thing for any parent to do. We think we all do it, but do we? We place expectations on our kids, rules, guidelines and exceptions. "Get all a's in school and you get money", "Stay by mommy and you get treats when we get in the car", "Go to church", "Go to college", "Get a job and pay your own way!". When all is said and done we want what we want for our kids, because we know ways in which they can be happy, but we need to trust that they know what's good for them too. We may want our kiddo to go to law school, while they want to go to art school. We should never underestimate our kids by confining them to our own standards and expectations. Not only allow them to spread those beautiful wings of theirs, but be completely supportive while they do it. If they fall and need help, we can be there to help nurse them back to health, with our unconditional love.
5. Offer choices. Oh how I hate to offer choices sometimes. "Sweetie, just get on your jammies and get in bed....NOW!" No choice there. I want it done, now do it! However, parenting is evolving and our ideas should evolve with it. The idea that children should be offered choices is a brilliant one, in theory, but much harder in practice. When my kids were little it was a bit easier, because the choice was much simpler and smaller..."Pick up your toys right now and then let's watch a movie, or I pick them up and they get put away....your choice". Choices as the kids get older are much harder for them, and much harder for us to follow through with. But so essential.
6. Inspire them. Never stop reaching for your own goals and dreams. They will model you. Be the kind of person that says to the world " I will never quit, no matter how hard it gets!" Be the kind of person that says "My mind and heart will ever strive for more, more knowledge, more adventure, more spirituality!", and they will mimic you. Be the kind of person that your children will praise to the world, just the way you have spent your life telling the world about your amazing children.
7. Love the life you've chosen. So many men and women grow up, have kids, get jobs and then realize they are miserable. Figure out what started you on your journey and then remember it everyday. Your life does mean something, it is worth something and learn to love it just the way it is. My life is anything but glamorous, but it's mine. I mean something to my kids when I praise them, love them and lift them up. I mean something to the friend that needed a good laugh that particular day. I mean something to the neighbor that needed some help just when I offered. I mean something to my sweet mom who loves to talk to me everyday, even if we don't have much to say. I mean something to my husband who wants to know he means something to me. We have each other. My life matters, make sure your kids know theirs do too.
I am sure I could think of much more, but I will stop here. If you have questions, ask me. I can't guarantee that I will have an answer for you, but I can try. And please, if you feel there is something in my life that needs improvement, just say so. Don't be offended if I hang up on you, I will later realize you were right and try to be better! :)
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Perfection
We are always striving for it. Some of us think we have already achieved it. There are some though that think that they will never even get close. I tend to fall into all of these categories depending on the day. What about what kind of parents were thought we were going to be? If your honest like me, you might admit you thought you were going to be a great parent. "I am not going to make the same mistakes my sister made...just look at her boys? I mean really! I would do a better job I think!" I look at my children and think about what it was that I thought parenthood was going to be like. Hours of day dreaming lent way to visions of well mannered, clean, smart talented children that when in public awed those around them. "Julie's children are such angels...I wish my kids were like hers". "Did you know Julie's son got accepted to Yale Law?". "What about that daughter of hers? She sings like an angel!" Admit it, you all thought the same thing when young and just starting out on your path to perfect parenting. Who really day dreams of getting a call from the principal saying your child was in his office again for misbehavior? Or that dreaded call from the Church Leaders saying your kiddo was running and screaming through the chapel instead of attending their Wednesday night meetings? Seriously, there's daydreams and then there's nightmares. Right?
But as the day to day of parenting has taken over my thoughts, actions and every waking moments I have come to realize that my children are perfect....for me. Each and every one of them has awesome strong qualities, and some serious weaknesses. But as a whole they are perfect. It reminds me of the movie "Remember the Titans". In one of the last scenes as the players huddle together during their last game the coach tells them that no matter what the outcome of the game they played a great season of ball. One wise player stands and says "I am not perfect, non of us are, but as a team we are perfect". Ones weaknesses are anothers strengths. My kids may have their downfalls, but they also are part of a whole that was formed in Heaven, has come together here on Earth and through the power of The Covenant will go on throughout all time and eternity. We, as a team, are perfect. My little rainbow baby Brynlee completed that perfection with her presence and we only go up from here.
We will always have our challenges, and there are days when I think those challenges will ruin us. There are days. But God does not make mistakes and with this family that is no exception. We are who we are and everyday that I look into the eyes of my children, one by one, I realize that my dreams have all come true. Each and everyone of them. Dreams that I didn't know were there have come to fruition. Kenna, Megan and Isaac. Abby, Lacie and Joe. Jessi, Colby, Skyler and Brynlee....not a one of them is perfect. I know it, I own it. I mean, really, neither am I! On that note though....non of you are either...not a one of you! No matter how much you try to convince me otherwise! So, while I have come to realize the fall of dream that I thought was once to be, I will also realize the culmination of many dreams that I never knew could even be. My team is perfect and I will revel in it. Love it, take joy in it, pray for it and look forward to many more days of perfection ahead. This is my family....you gotta love us.....
But as the day to day of parenting has taken over my thoughts, actions and every waking moments I have come to realize that my children are perfect....for me. Each and every one of them has awesome strong qualities, and some serious weaknesses. But as a whole they are perfect. It reminds me of the movie "Remember the Titans". In one of the last scenes as the players huddle together during their last game the coach tells them that no matter what the outcome of the game they played a great season of ball. One wise player stands and says "I am not perfect, non of us are, but as a team we are perfect". Ones weaknesses are anothers strengths. My kids may have their downfalls, but they also are part of a whole that was formed in Heaven, has come together here on Earth and through the power of The Covenant will go on throughout all time and eternity. We, as a team, are perfect. My little rainbow baby Brynlee completed that perfection with her presence and we only go up from here.
We will always have our challenges, and there are days when I think those challenges will ruin us. There are days. But God does not make mistakes and with this family that is no exception. We are who we are and everyday that I look into the eyes of my children, one by one, I realize that my dreams have all come true. Each and everyone of them. Dreams that I didn't know were there have come to fruition. Kenna, Megan and Isaac. Abby, Lacie and Joe. Jessi, Colby, Skyler and Brynlee....not a one of them is perfect. I know it, I own it. I mean, really, neither am I! On that note though....non of you are either...not a one of you! No matter how much you try to convince me otherwise! So, while I have come to realize the fall of dream that I thought was once to be, I will also realize the culmination of many dreams that I never knew could even be. My team is perfect and I will revel in it. Love it, take joy in it, pray for it and look forward to many more days of perfection ahead. This is my family....you gotta love us.....
Monday, January 9, 2012
January
Well, it's the beginning of the year again and what do we all do around this time of year? I mean aside from heave a huge sigh of relief that the holidays are over and things went as well as expected...we all make new years resolutions. I have to be honest here for a moment...it's been years since I actually made any resolutions. I figure that if I didn't have the motivation to accomplish something in October, what makes me think that January will be any different? My new year signals different things in my mind.
First off, January is the "mid point" of the school year in my mind. Half way kids, half way to summer, sun, fun, swimming, front lawn parties and laziness. Hang in there guys, we are half way there! We all know what that time of year means to me!
Second, we are just weeks away from tax return. Someday this will be a yucky time of year, but while we have 10 dependants in our home it is an awesome time of year. We can repair and register the cars, fix up the house and look forward to a vacation or two. We usually go to St George in March or April to celebrate this time of year! I love all of that!
Third, to appreciate the third thing I love I will need to remind all of you what our fall is. Between October 20th and January 5th we have 5 birthdays, Halloween and Christmas. I don't count Thanksgiving because we don't spend money on that holiday...we just eat till we pop. All of the other things are wonderful, joyous occasions, but very costly. When Abby's birthday is done we get a break from all those stresses. No more major costly holidays and birthdays until May when it starts all over again with Megan, Me and Jon's birthdays, all 4 days apart! So this time of year is our "break" time. Which by this point we desperately need
Usually this time of year brings with it a certain amount of seasonal depression. Right now I am ok, but I can tell you why. We had a wonderful November and December weather wise. Some would argue, but I loved it! Warm, almost eerily so, all the way through the holidays. This last snow storm is the first time we have had snow that actually stuck around due to cold temps. Now, don't be blinded by my joy, I am sure come the end of February I will turn into the grumpy Julie everyone is used to, but for now I am coping and I am happy with that!
So, there it is. My update. I didn't go on and on about Christmas, in fact I didn't post anything about Christmas at all. I am having a bit of guilt over that. Not the kind of guilt that leaves you crippled, just a bit, a twinge, the kind I will forget the minute I am done writing and go about my day washing, drying, cleaning and yelling. Sorry about that, Christmas is what it is....toys, gifts, early mornings and late nights. The kids were happy and that's what counts. I however am looking forward now, to making this year a great year. Here's for hoping, huh?
First off, January is the "mid point" of the school year in my mind. Half way kids, half way to summer, sun, fun, swimming, front lawn parties and laziness. Hang in there guys, we are half way there! We all know what that time of year means to me!
Second, we are just weeks away from tax return. Someday this will be a yucky time of year, but while we have 10 dependants in our home it is an awesome time of year. We can repair and register the cars, fix up the house and look forward to a vacation or two. We usually go to St George in March or April to celebrate this time of year! I love all of that!
Third, to appreciate the third thing I love I will need to remind all of you what our fall is. Between October 20th and January 5th we have 5 birthdays, Halloween and Christmas. I don't count Thanksgiving because we don't spend money on that holiday...we just eat till we pop. All of the other things are wonderful, joyous occasions, but very costly. When Abby's birthday is done we get a break from all those stresses. No more major costly holidays and birthdays until May when it starts all over again with Megan, Me and Jon's birthdays, all 4 days apart! So this time of year is our "break" time. Which by this point we desperately need
Usually this time of year brings with it a certain amount of seasonal depression. Right now I am ok, but I can tell you why. We had a wonderful November and December weather wise. Some would argue, but I loved it! Warm, almost eerily so, all the way through the holidays. This last snow storm is the first time we have had snow that actually stuck around due to cold temps. Now, don't be blinded by my joy, I am sure come the end of February I will turn into the grumpy Julie everyone is used to, but for now I am coping and I am happy with that!
So, there it is. My update. I didn't go on and on about Christmas, in fact I didn't post anything about Christmas at all. I am having a bit of guilt over that. Not the kind of guilt that leaves you crippled, just a bit, a twinge, the kind I will forget the minute I am done writing and go about my day washing, drying, cleaning and yelling. Sorry about that, Christmas is what it is....toys, gifts, early mornings and late nights. The kids were happy and that's what counts. I however am looking forward now, to making this year a great year. Here's for hoping, huh?
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