So this morning Polly and I were having a conversation like any other we have had on any other day we have had it. Only this morning as we talked I realized she was crying. Oh dear..
"It's ok, it's not you...it's me"
I was officially nervous about what it is I had said...
"Just tell me so that I won't say it again. I don't like to unknowingly hurt your feelings."
I could tell at this point she was hesitating.
"It was all the talk about Ian not wearing shoes as it gets colder. I feel like a failure as a parent..."
Now mind you, this is a conversation we have had many times over. And it has gone both ways. Just the night before as we spoke on the phone I kept getting interupted by Megan.
"Mom, can I have a snack before bed?"
"No Meg, just go to bed..."
"But mom, I haven't tested my blood yet..."
"Go to bed Megan, I am warning you..."
"But my stomach hurts and I need a drink"
"Megan, I mean it this time!"
After several minutes, Polly said to me over the phone, "How many warnings you going to give her before you get serious?"
She was right, but then again I was in an ok mood and didn't mind the gentle critisizm. I don't think the same applied to her this morning.
So, by the time we were finished talking we had smoothed things over and we were ready to have lunch together. I must say though it was so nice to be able to smooth things over. We have come a long ways in our friendship and have come to a point where more or less we can tell each other the truth. No dancing around each other, no walking on egg shells, no hurt feelings over things not said.
I learned to love this attitude by watching my sisters. Lori and Lisa are two of the greatest people I know. They are awesome!
For the first few times I went down to Vegas to see them it was weird. These were people who spoke their mind. They said what was buggin them right off the bat!
Polly and I went to visit them a few years ago and we ended up at Lisa's house first. After we got there we sat around and talked for a while until Lisa finally called Lori and this is what we gathered from the conversaion.
Lisa, Polly and I were hungry by this time....
"Hi Lor, where are you?'
Mumbling from the other end of the phone...
"Well, we are waiting on you to go to dinner"
"Well, we want to go all together, that's why were wainting on you!"
"God, take it easy, I was just kidding, we can wait a little longer..."
The great thing about this entire exchange was that after all was said and done, we went to dinner, had a great time and no one was the slightest upset with each other.
I love them for their ability to be honest, even harsh sometimes and still completely love each other. No hard feelings and all of that.
There is so much to be said for honesty. I avoid it sometimes because I don't want to hurt the feelings of the people in my life. But I need to try harder. I mean, not to the extent where I say to someone "Geez, I think your body has gotten used to your deoderant cause you stink", buy maybe something like "I don't want to have a dinner with the entire family tonight cause I just don't think I can deal with them today!"
Is that bad?