Will you get up already?

I am mom. I do not sleep in. I do not sleep at all sometimes. But this is not a problem for several other people in my home. I recently had words with my hubby over the alarm clock.

It's set for 5:35 am. At 5:35 it goes off. He pushes snooze and goes back to sleep. He repeats this in 9 minutes, and then turns it off 9 minutes after that and still dozes back off...and all the while I sit there wide awake, very frustrated.

"Honey, what time did you set the alarm for?"
"I don't know..around 5:30..."
"Are you going to get up to it or what?"
"I intend to...."
"Well, it wakes the baby up if it keeps going off...so please just get up to it..."
"Well, sometimes I don't sleep well and I don't know for sure if I am going to want to sleep in or not...I just have to wait and see..."

Yes...wait and see at the cost of me not sleeping...

Then there's my 2nd oldest daughter Megan...I wake her up initially at 6:15. I have to do this because she sleeps so deeply that an alarm clock does not phase her. It wakes everyone else upstairs up, but she can sleep right through it. I have always said she sleeps like the dead.
First wake up call at 6:15.
Second one at 6:18.
Then I turn on the lights.
Then about 2 min later I pull off all the blankets.
Then about 6:22 I have to pull her out of bed.
At this point she grabs a blanket and drags herself to the kitchen, but on the way she turns up the heat so the furnace will kick in, then when she gets to the kitchen she lays down in front of the heat vent by the kitchen sink.
At 6:30 I have to wake her back up.
"Come on Megan you need to get going because you only have half an hour now...hurry up!"
And don't forget that she has a few extra things to do before school due to the fact that she is a diabetic and needs to do blood sugar, insulin and pack said items. Ugh!!

I tell ya...the kids that should be sleeping in are the ones that are up tapping me on the shoulder at 6:00 wanting me to turn on "Wonder Pets" (thank you Jessi!), and the ones that should be up getting ready at a bright and early hour are the ones that are sleeping in trying to avoid the inevitable. By the time my hubby is in and out the shower in the morning most of my tiny kids are up and making noise. I mean is it normal to have to listen to Word World and watch Curious George getting into trouble at 6:45 am? I would love to find a way to switch things around. Have the older and bigger people up doing what they should be doing and having all the tiny, noisy, troublmaking little ones sound asleep till nine. I can't remember the last time I had to go in to one of their rooms at 9 am wondering if they are still breathing. I know their breathing because they stand right next to my bed at 5:50 am trying to wake me up with their bodily noises....

Seriously, a mom's life is so screwy sometimes. I have new found respect for mom's everywhere each and everyday of my life. What we do in one day, what we deal with and the juggling act warrants prizes for all of us. I think we all deserve "mom of the year" almost everyday!

And the winner is....

Boy...I thought I had a flare for the dramatic. I grew up doing drama...especially once I got to high school. I loved being there. Every play, every show, every competition...and it showed in my every day life. My mother would get so frustrated with me, my dad would roll his eyes at me and my brother would just sit on me. None of them truly knew what to do with me.

But I have to admit that as dramatic as I was growing up...my kids are that much more now. I knew that eye color, health issues and even a funny pinky toe were all traits that you could inherit...but drama? Now I know why my mom would get frustrated, my dad would roll his eyes and Mark would resort to just shutting me up by sitting on me. I must have been a handful.

Some of my kids are loud...I mean really really loud. When you talk to them you have to yell just to be heard...then they cry out "Why are you yelling at me? You hate me!"

Then there's those kids that are quiet but so incredibly sensitive. "Please do not hit your brother....got it?" "Well...he hit me and you don't care...you never care about me, it's always about him!"

Then there's the drama of you can't approach the kid without them thinking you are attacking them. "Hun...will you please get off the computer, I know you have some work to make up and you have that math test tomorrow..." "Oh my gosh mom...you are always on my back, you don't trust me, you don't like me. You hate everything I do and nothing is ever good enough...is it?"

There are times where I will walk all the way around the room to look the child non aggressively in the eye to see if they are going to explode when I ask them put away the milk they just left out. Sometimes I laugh at the kids thinking surely they will all laugh with me and the one child stomps out of the room feelings hurt and crying and my oldest will walk past me with a "nice one mom"...great...the same joke went over great yesterday.

I have decided that being the mom of 9 kids is like being a school teacher. I am always trying to keep control, while never really having it, I am always trying to teach while there's always one kiddo that is trying to undo the teaching moment, and the curriculum that worked for this bunch just is not getting through to that bunch.

Drama drama and more drama...and I thought I put my parents through grief....oh my...

We're all in the same boat...

I find a certain amount of joy in talking to others. Most everyone in my life knows how much I like to talk...and I think the reason I like to talk is because when you really start to talk, you find that as hard as your own life is, so is everyone else's. There have been so many times in the last few months where I have sat at home pining away about my life, only to talk to a friend and find that they also have had hard times. Sometimes harder than what I think I could handle and I suddenly find myself grateful that I am having to deal with my own problems.


One example...Halloween night. Halloween is always a long day for me. Parades at school, costumes, makeup, kids that have issues with costumes and last minute runs to walmart and it was Sky's first birthday. We were trying so hard to do so much and by the time I got out to go trick or treating with the kids I was exhausted. I got to go with the little kids this year. Which isn't very hard...just a swipe around the block, maybe the next one for good measure..then were done. Well...half way down our own block, we went to trick or treat at a home, where there were folks that I have not gotten to know, and the lady who was sitting on her porch with another woman nicely said that they were not celebrating Halloween this year. I did not want to pry I just said thanks and went to move on. By the time I was waiting in the next driveway for the kids to run to the door the lady had caught up with me. She was holding a bowl of candy and kindly apologized. She explained that her mother had died the day before and that they were having a hard time. I nearly stood right there in the driveway and cried with her. I had never met her before that night.

I have a dear friend whose husband might be unemployed by the end of the summer. I have friends with health issues. I have family with financial issues. I myself have gone through a lot this last 6 months trying to have another baby. Everyone has problems...no one is exempt.

When my kids come to me and tell me how they were bullied at school...crying through the entire story. Or when they come and ask me why the baby that was in my tummy died, or even why we can't go to Disneyland when their friends can the only answer I have for them is this..."Life is just hard sometimes"...and that's the long and the short of it. "Why did Skyler have to have surgery and diabetes?" Because life is just hard sometimes.... "Why do we have to get sick?" "Why did my friend have to be so mean?"...Life is just hard sometimes.

I can only hope that through this tough life...which is not going to get any easier for them...I can teach my kids about hope, faith and joy. Life is hard, but that doesn't make it bad. You can still love life, enjoy life and live your life to the fullest, even though it's going to be hard. I try to laugh everyday, smile at strangers and help those that need me even when all I want to do is sit and hide and cry because believe it or not that makes me feel better in the long run. Knowing that I have comforted someone in need. Knowing that I can put my arm around a loved one and tell them I love them. You receive what you give in this life, you won't have to take for yourself because the more you give the more is given without question. What goes around comes around...which side of the ball are you going to be on?

Cabin fever...

Here we are again at that most dreaded time of year. February. Everyone that lives in Utah hates February..unless you are a ski bum and can go every weekend. The rest of us get just so darn sick of the cold, the inversion and the frosted over windows of the car every morning.

For months now it's been too cold for the kids to play outside..which leaves them indoors, bored, fighting and constantly battling over one of the screens in the house. TV, computer and Nintendo. They have had colds, drudged through the slush to get to and from school and have been yelled at multiple times a day to "put on your coat!". They can't breath through the inversion while at recess and I have told Jessi about a thousand times that just because the sun is out it does not mean that we can get out the baby pool and the hose!

Then there's me. I have to say that my favorite time of the year is summer. Now Jon would strongly disagree with me because he hates the hot hot heat, but I love it because it means that I bring out the baby pool, a lawn chair, a soda and a friend and just sit in the shade and watch the kids play in the pool and enjoy them being happy....which makes me happy. Summer is the very best time of year in my opinion. There are parks to explore, the zoo to frequent (you can never tire of those silly monkeys...it's like watching your kids in cages!), hit some lakes for some day trips and just pure laziness at home. Outside, outside and more outside.

Wow...I have to stop with that...I am making myself drool....it sounds so wonderful. So here is what I do to appease myself during this miserable time...I make plans. I search campgrounds...find new ones and reserve the old favorites. I start making plans for our trip with the kids to Vegas, start making plans for summer vacations. Dream big I say...it's what gets us through this most miserable time of year!

October is sooo cold, but so fun! Halloween has to be one of the best holidays ever...and now with Sky's bday right then it will be twice as fun.

November is fun too. Thanksgiving is right up there with Halloween. A completely no pressure holiday...spend time with family eating great food. Yum yum...

December is fun also. Even if Christmas is stressful it's still so fun to watch the lights go up through the falling snow, see the decorations and play in the new snow of the year. I like December.

January is ok. It's starting to lose it's appeal by now though. I don't hate it yet...but it's always a long month because we begin to look forward to spring and summer.

By February it's all over...I am done...no more yuck...no more cold...no more "Oh yippee! It's snowing again!" It's more like "ugh...snow again...I hate that!"

I am ready for a beach, palm trees, warm water and sand that drifts between your toes so softly that it almost feels like water....that's what I'm ready for!

Sunday..the day of rest?

My question this evening is..why are Sundays so dang hard? I hear over and over again how Sunday is the day of rest, and how it's a family day and how we should spend it doing quiet things like scripture study, baking goodies for the old lady across the street or taking nice family walks. Well?

Our Sundays usually go something like this: We wake up way too early considering we have 1pm church this year. So here's mom trying to keep the little kids quiet so they don't wake everyone else in the house up. Well, by 7:15 it's a lost battle...most everyone is up. Except for Jon and Kenna...they sleep in. Kenna longer than Jon though. Then by 10 am I have fed everyone at least 2 different breakfasts and some of the kids are already working on lunch. They think that with nothing else to do, no friends to play with and boredom seeping in they need to eat away their time. By 11 am I am desperately trying to get the last of the kids into the tub for church and trying to dry the clothes for the kids that put their Sunday clothes at the bottom of the laundry and I never got around to getting it done.

Then I realize it's noon and we still have lunch for several kids to get done, and sure as shootin neither Jon nor I has yet to shower. We argue over who gets in first (first one is the one who takes the kids who are ready to church on time. So, we both want to be in the shower last!).

Once we have all made it to church we start with Sacrament meeting. Now for those of you who don't know...it's an hour and ten minutes of sit still and be quiet and listen. Which non of my children are even capable of! So it's more of a fight of who has had a fruit snack and who hasn't. Whose turn is next with the markers and who is going to clean up all of Skyler's cereal off the floor. We have had kids crawl under benches all the way to the front of the chapel, Joe has thrown barbies around, Isaac and Abby play keep away from Lacie and Jessi laying in the middle of the isle with her blanket sucking her thumb. Oh sooo much fun!

If I make it through that meeting without falling apart once the closing prayer is said, then it's off to classes. I love this moment...off to classes...go away sweet children...you are somebodies else's problem for two hours.

If we make it through classes ok then it's off to home. The kids run to the car, run in the house, run to change their clothes and run right back to the kitchen...cause surely all that torturing of the adults in their lives for three hours has left them famished! I always make crock pot dinners so that the minute we walk in we can sit down and eat. Ugh...by now I am usually exhausted.

Mind you were not done yet. It's only 5 pm and we have to try to keep the kids happy for another 4 hours while we anxiously await bedtime! Bickering, fighting, rough housing, yelling and so on mark the hours and make them seem to just creep by.

Usually by 10 pm I am so tired that I sit and ponder this "day of rest". It's the hardest day of the week....surely! I have heard that someday I will miss all of this. I say ??????

Go ahead and laugh at yourself...

If there is one constant in the universe it's (aside from God), that everyone once in a while is just plain stupid. We all do those things that make everyone laugh at us, including ourselves...

I was walking out to the garbage the other day and as I walked back across the driveway towards the house (I was walking carefully...new snow and all) I did not see the sheen of ice under the light layer of snow on the driveway....and down I went. Down to all fours...right there in my driveway. Luckily it was early in the morning and I don't think anyone saw me. However, there have been times when several people have seen me. Like the time in the early fall when I was running to Kmart to grab an umbrella to take to Isaac's football game. It was raining and I did not want to sit in the rain. Now, Kmart has those wide yellow lines painted on the asphalt to mark where pedestrians walk...only they can get so slippery when it rains and snows. So there I am, 8 months pregnant with Skyler and talking on the phone to McKenna when poof...my feet went out from under me. Some nice guy and his kid looked horrified and rushed over to help me. I sheepishly said "the only thing that's hurt is my pride...". Wow...could I have felt any more stupid?

Another awesome moment is when I was at my folk's house for a bridal shower. I was standing at the top of the stairs looking up at my dad who was standing on the landing above me, talking to me. I took one step down and again...poof...my feet went out from under me and as I was in mid sentence I did the "ya ya ya ya ya ya" noise all the way down to the bottom of the stairs. My dad had to stretch way over to see me laying at the bottom of the stairs to say "are you ok?". I could hardly answer him through the tears of laughter...

Well, the thing I have come to realize is that no one laughs harder at these stellar "Julie Moments" more than I do. I have after a lifetime of making stupid mistakes learned to laugh at myself. Now mind you, it's awesome to laugh with someone else when they take the fall, but I think you reach a new high when you learn to laugh at yourself.

As an adult I have fallen off chairs in front of people, fallen down, slipped on ice, nearly hit folks with grocery carts, been talking to myself in the car when I realize that the person in the car next to me is laughing at me and so on. The key is to learn to laugh at yourself. We all do dumb things, we all need to laugh at ourselves for it....

:D

Hope...

I hope. That's one of the smallest sentences in the English language and yet it is one of the most powerful. Hope, in my opinion is the basis of faith. You have to hope before you can truly believe in something. I hope its true is a precursor to I have faith in something. Faith is a sure knowledge that something exists, will happen or is true. When a convert to the church first begins to develop their testimony I think it all begins with hope.

As to me and hope. I have always believed in the good. The good in people, the good in the world, the good in myself. I meet a new person at the grocery store, perhaps the clerk, and I hope they will smile at me, I hope they are kind to me while I struggle with several kids and a bank book that is always low on cash. Right now my hope is hinged on this year. It's a new year, fresh from last. It's like Father Times new day...the sun comes up everyday...Jan 1st is the sunrise on the new year. Most of us have hope at the beginning of each new day that today will be better than yesterday, or maybe even as good. This year is going to be better. Now, that's not to say that last year was a complete bust. It wasn't. It was just really hard in spots. Skyler was such a blessing to our home when he came and he completely has all of us wrapped around his tiny, chubby finger. However, it was not an easy year with him. His tests at primarys which led to his surgery. His constant colds and sinus infections (he was on antibiotics about 9 times last year..). Then his diagnosis of diabetes last July (on Lacie's birthday no less...). Then it was me...2 miscarriages last fall. Ugh....

That's not to mention all the sicknesses, Jon's bad knee, my ovarian cysts, kids teeth (several had to have teeth pulled), Isaac's broken hand, bumps, bruises, broken water pipes (including the main to the house that flooded Lacie's room) and so on. No...it was not an easy year. But I have to say that despite all that it was still good most of the time.

This year is going to be even better. Better than last just because I have decided it is going to be. The power of positive thinking and all. Or is it the power of hope? Either way its going to be better...

I hope this year is better...
I hope my family is well more..
I hope Skyler will not need another surgery...
I hope...