New beginnings

This has been a hard year, one of the hardest that I can remember. We have lost four babies this year and that alone has been horrible. But there have been other things too, stresses with finances, stresses with child rearing and all those little things on a day to day basis that make life so difficult. We can all relate to what I am saying. Our stresses may come from different places, but we all have them. My life is no different.

This last month I will admit was the worst. After losing little baby David at the beginning of the month my life felt like it was in a tailspin. I am pretty sure it was. No more though. Jon and I have started to make plans. We are looking forward to new things, hope in new ideas and we are working together for the first time in a long time. It feels good. I have missed my partner, we have spent too many days thinking about our future, but not thinking about it together. I have a renewed sense of where I am going and what I am doing. I don't necessarily think that means we are moving, giving up our friends or family. I sadly think it means we have hit rock bottom with just about everything in our lives and now we are moving upwards. I am happy to say though that we have decided to move upwards together.

I like that feeling. I know there will be hard days still, but for the first time in a long time I feel good about what were talking about and where we are going. It feels good.