Torn

I am exhausted today. I have to admit that's actually putting it mildly. I stayed up until 2:30 am talking to my sister Lori on the phone. It was fun, it was confrontational, it was wonderful. I loved every moment of keeping in touch with her. She and I had lots of questions for each other and lots to tell each other about what's been going on in our lives this past week or so. We could have gone on longer but we knew we had to stop, we knew we had to go to bed.

I often have people marvel that I am up at unholy hours of the night on facebook, writing or just catching up on my favorite tv shows. Buy people, let's think about this. I have 9 children. I have a husband. The demands for my time and attention are astronomical. I literally never have time for myself, at least time that isn't interrupted several times every moment with requests for food, juice, tv remotes, phone calls, item finding and all manner of all other things. It's truly amazing how many times in an hour I am beckoned. As we speak I had to stop writing long enough to check the baby's blood sugar, give him some juice and clean up a little glass salt shaker that Jessi broke.

So there is one sure fire time when I can get alone time. The middle of the night. I can watch my tv shows. I can write uninterrupted. I can listen to the music I like and talk on the phone or on facebook without having to get up and say "hang on". I like it. Yes, I do pay a price for it the next day when I am super tired and want nothing more than to lay down and go to sleep, but it's still worth it.

When evening comes I just have to judge how tired I am and how desperate I am for that time...by 10 or so I have my answer. Tonight is going to be an early to bed night. But that's because Lori and and I were up late last night. And it was worth every moment of it. :)