We have been home now for 5 days. It's been good to be home. I missed my friends. I missed my bed and the space for my kids to spread out. We were cramped for 11 days...and I have to say they did a great job being so close to each other for so long, but it was good to be home.
Having said that I will now say that I had no idea how much I missed it. The ocean I mean. The vacation was a surprise vacation my dad set up. When we were young my dad would rent a beach house every summer for a week. It's always been in the same spot...beach road in San Juan Capistrano, California. It's more or less been different houses each year, but the same beach. The same view, the same shops, the same restaurants....and I love it. The sounds and smells are so comforting to me. When you stand on the beach looking out at the ocean you can gaze to the left and see San Clemente Pier, and to the right is Dana Point. Out in front of you is blue, as far as the eye can see. It's awesome. I don't mean awesome like "it's so awesome that he talked to me today" awesome, I mean "God's creations are awesome" awesome.
The entire time we were there my kids were content. They didn't fight, they loved where they were, they played in the sand, they ran in the waves, they searched the rocks for treasures. I am so grateful that they could experience some of what I call paradise with me. They slept well, they played hard and they learned to love a bit of what I have spent a lifetime loving. Jon and I got to sit back and read and snooze. It's been so long since we were able to do that with all the kids around. Even Skyler would just sit nearby digging his tiny hands into the sand, and eating a bit of it.
I have come to depend a lot on my ipod to keep my mind happy and occupied. My nights in Capistrano were spent with no ipod. I didn't want to have it in my ears while there. I wanted to be able to hear every wave. Every sound that I have missed so much.
Now, I know I am not the only one who feels this way. They make cd's of ocean sounds that people use to sleep to, or to meditate to. You have to be a millionaire to own beachfront property now a days. People will save up, and take one big vacation a year...to the beach. Lot's of people love to be there. It's all about location.
Since we got home it's been cloudy and rainy. My best friend and I have spent a considerable amount of time on the phone and a bit of time hanging out and yesterday while getting some hot chocolate at Maverick (yes...it is that cold here right now!), she told me that I have gotten whiny about the weather. "You whine about it all the time...all the time!" She's not wrong. I hate the constant cloud cover. I hate temps that drop below 80. I hate the fact that we are half way into June and I have not even been able to toy with the idea of buying the kids a kiddie pool to play in. It's horribly depressing to me. The funny thing is though that Capistrano was cool this year. We had to run the heaters at night. We had to wear jackets in the evening to keep warm. There were clouds for 3 days straight while we were there and I don't recall whining even once. I didn't care that it was cloudy and cool...I was on the beach. Not even the clouds could dampen my spirit while there.
We will go back someday. I love it too much not to. We will never live there. We will never be able to afford it. But we will go back. Maybe with my folks? Maybe not. We can take the kids and stay in a hotel and just go to the beach everyday. It won't be as nice, but it will still be worth it. Maybe hit Disneyland or Sea world. When you find something that is that good for you, you have to grab it and run with it. My kids may grow up to feel differently. They might love the mountains, lakes or who knows what? I respect the fact that it's different for everyone. I know what it is for me. I know where it is for me.